The Silver Dragon Chronicles
by GlassSuicune
Summary: Long ago, a Dragon of great power terrorized the world, but was sealed away. Centuries later, a slight accident causes him to be freed. And he wants to finish what he started. Oh joy. Rated for a minor alcohol reference and POSSIBLE violence later on.
1. Books, Thieves, and Bounty Hunters

The Silver Dragon Chronicles by GlassSuicune

Note: Phantasy Star belongs to SEGA, okay? I do own Elpizo, Zelda, Harpuia, and Zero. Anyways, this is a request from my best friend on the Internet. He wanted to see his Dragons in a fanfiction, so I started writing this ( he also happens to own Eclipse, BTW). In all honesty...it worked out perfectly, IMO. I wanted to write a more fantasy-focused Phantasy Star story anyways. ^^ The world this story takes place in...is a magical little kingdom which has no name at the moment, but is not related to any other areas in the games. It does have characters from some of the games ( particularly Zero and Universe/Portable), though.

Chapter 1: Books, Thieves, and Bounty Hunters.

"Good grief! They can't even get my ears right? How insulting!"

The blonde-haired Newman continued staring at the wanted poster depicting her face in absolute horror, appalled that whoever drew it dared to make her ears point out to the sides instead of upward. The poster itself quite clearly read 'Wanted: Dead or Alive' and offered a ginormous reward for either outcome, but the elf really didn't seem to care that there would very likely be many mercenaries and other people after her head. She was instead focused on being angry at the artist for drawing her ears wrong. I can't help but think she needs to get her priorities straight... Especially since her dark pink robe-like coat ( her trademark), along with her light pink shirt and pants, and always-scheming emerald green eyes made her stick out like an apple amongst oranges. But I don't feel like making any comparisons at the moment. Though that isn't really the point...

"THERE SHE IS! DON'T LET HER ESCAPE!"

The young woman was torn from her complaining when a blast of energy burst through the wanted poster, effectively destroying the picture's head. It was then that the Newman noticed the 'Dead or Alive' business, and the reward for her capture. "...I'm worth twenty-thousand Meseta?" she inquired, looking ticked off and seemingly oblivious to the fact that someone had tried to blast her head off, "Are they seriously..._serious_? I'm worth way more than that, and whoever came up with the reward knows it! Cheapskates..." Another shot tore through the tree she was standing near, and she finally noticed the people that were surrounding her. They were obviously from the castle, judging by the way they were dressed. The craftsmanship of their steel armour was oh-so expensive these days.

"Freeze!" the leader, a white-haired, crimson-eyed male Newman ordered, pointing the gun at the woman, "You're not getting away this time, Elpizo!" Elpizo stared at him long and hard, ignoring the CASTs and other Newmans that were with him. "Reve..." she said in a sickeningly sweet voice that women like her used to tell someone they were going to get their way, "Why do you expect me to freeze when you fill me with joy and warmth every time I see you, huh?"

"Enough! Now, hand over the book and come quietly, or else your days end here."

"So you're basically telling me to surrender or die?"

"How surprising. You _can_ display some amount of intelligence..."

"...I'll take that as a compliment... But anyway, let me think about this whole surrendering thing... No can do. Oh, by the way, I think there's a leprechaun running off with the queen's crown over there."

The other soldiers promptly ran in the direction Elpizo was pointing at, looking for the non-existent leprechaun. I kid you not.

"Incompetent fools!" Reve shouted, as Elpizo grabbed the book and bolted in the opposite direction, "GET OVER HERE! SHE'S GETTING AWAY AGAIN!" Unwilling to waste anymore time, Reve sprinted after Elpizo, firing his gun like mad at her, determined to catch her and put her in jail where she belonged. She had run from the law long enough!

Perhaps Reve was getting too focused on chasing Elpizo to notice the world around him, or maybe she really was out-smarting him again. Either way, she somehow managed to get them both stuck on a tree branch that was attached to the edge of a cliff, and as it lowered itself under their weight, it began to resemble a catapult, barely touching the ground below ( it wasn't a high cliff, quite clearly). "...This is my stop," Elpizo said bluntly, "I enjoyed our time together, and see you next time!" With that, she jumped off the branch and walked away, hearing Reve let out a blood-curdling scream as he was catapulted across the forest. Smirking, Elpizo reached into the bag and pulled out the book she had -ahem- 'borrowed' from the castle. "I wonder what the deal with this thing is, anyway?" she inquired, opening it up and flipping through its pages as she walked off to her 'hide-out', which was a well-hidden cave in the mountains.

To be perfectly honest...I think she's going to regret ever reading that book, as well as stealing it. Why, you may ask? That just so happens to be the queen's diary.

A blonde-haired, crimson-eyed Beast stared at the wanted poster of the female Newman with what appeared to be an 'If looks could kill' expression, then casually bit the top of the poster, and promptly shredded the darn thing with her teeth in five seconds flat, then spit out any pieces that ended up in her mouth. A male Human, a male CAST, and a female Newman were all hiding behind a desk, staring at her. To say they all looked scared would be an understatement.

"Sheriff Kai," the pink-and-black-armoured woman practically snarled at the black-haired, brown-eyed Human, "Tell me about this woman whose picture I just shredded." The CAST and Newman both shoved Kai forward, much to his dismay. "...That's Elpizo..." he said, choosing his words carefully, as the Beast looked like she would bite his head off if he so much as looked at her funny, "She has this nasty habit of making things go missing around these parts... No one's been able to catch her. Come to think of it, the only person crazy enough to chase her so far is Reve, Captain of the Royal Guard. He's been...slowly losing his mind ever since he started hunting her down... And I would like to keep _my_ mind, thank you very much."

"Is that so? You're both _that_ incompetent?"

"More like Elpizo knows what she's doing..."

"Well, you can add another person crazy enough to pursue her. Because I'm bored, and in search of a challenge."

"Oh, you'll get a challenge alright..."

With that, the Beast slammed a knife into the table and left the sheriff's office. Kai and the other two looked at the piece of paper attached to the knife. "'Zelda was here.' Well... I'm glad she left." the red-haired, red-eyed Newman said bluntly after reading the message. "Agreed, Sarisa." the blue-eyed, white-and-red armoured CAST, Ogi, said afterwards.

_Later..._

"Captain Reve..." the queen, a purple-haired, blue-eyed Newman sighed, "I understand your dedication to catching that petty thief..." she examined the captain of the Royal Guard more closely, mentally cringing at how much he looked like a wreck, "...But aren't you getting a little...I don't know..._obsessed_, maybe?" Reve stared at her, absolutely appalled. "Me?" he shrieked, his eyes looking crazed, "Obsessed? How ludicrous! I am merely doing what I was tasked with. Which happens to be catching that little _demon_..."

"...Captain... I hear you talk about seeing Elpizo rot in a cell every single day... If _that's_ not obsession... I have no clue what is..."

"Queen Ana, I..."

"Face it; you're obsessed. There's no getting around it. And personally, I'd rather not see you lose your mind any more than you already have, so... I am forbidding you from continuing this currently useless pursuit, and will send -no offense- much more capable people to finish the job."

"B-but Your Majesty! I can handle this! I promise you I'll-"

"...You've been going at this for an entire _year_... You need a break. Don't question me."

Reve said nothing else, choosing to not press the matter further. "Now... I have hand-picked your replacements," Ana said with no sympathy, "Would you like to meet them?" The currently distraught elf slowly nodded, fighting the turmoil within him. How could the queen be so heartless? Nonetheless, he turned around, seeing a Newman and two CASTs walk into the throne room. The red-and-black-armoured CAST walked away from the other two, apparently wanting nothing to do with them at the moment. The green-armoured CAST paid her no heed, instead focusing on polishing her gun. The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Newman was holding onto a saber very tightly, looking like she wanted to smash something. Her all red attire seemed to go well with whatever destructive tendency she was housing, but using the colour red in such a way is so cliché...

But I have to ask... What's with these crazy blonds? Elpizo's a clever maniac, Zelda's a blatant psychopath, and I have my doubts about this one's sanity...

"Reve, meet Eclipse, Harpuia, and Zero," Ana said as elegantly as possible, "They're highly skilled bounty hunters, and I have a decent amount of faith they'll get the job done." Reve blinked, examining the three carefully, then his eyes rested on Zero, who was looking even more crazed. "...Why is she called Zero?" he dared to ask, knowing he'd probably regret such a question.

"She has the ability to reduce the enemy population of a given area to zero. Every time. Just watch... Zero, could you destroy those scarecrows outside in the courtyard?"

The clearly demented elf immediately jumped out the window, and everyone ran to it to see her work her 'magic'. She viciously pounced on the unsuspecting scarecrows and they soon became engulfed in a cloud of dust and flames, and when all it was over, there was no trace of the scarecrows ever existing in the first place. Zero grinned maniacally, looking quite pleased with her handiwork. Eclipse looked unimpressed, Harpuia was smirking slightly, Ana seemed to be emotionless, and Reve flat-out looked terrified, wondering if he and Zero really belonged to the same species.

"And that, my friends, is what I have to deal with twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week." Harpuia said bluntly, as Zero climbed upward by jamming some daggers into the castle wall, looking hungry for more destruction. Everyone walked away from the window so she could get back inside. She climbed back into the throne room, hissed at Eclipse, Ana, and Reve, then walked back over to Harpuia. The android shook her head at everyone's questioning glances. "I have reason to believe she was raised by Dragons, or some other not-so-tame creature." she said bluntly, answering the unasked question.

"Well, I think we've eaten up enough of your valuable time, Your Majesty," Eclipse suddenly said, "We'll be off searching for that thief that has obviously turned this puny kingdom into a pack of loonies now." With that, she walked off, her Mag following whilst snickering. "...Regrettably, she means every word she said." Harpuia spoke up, before leaving herself while pulling Zero along ( she looked like she wanted to tear the room apart).

"Reve..." Ana said in a worried tone after the trio left. Reve suddenly felt very sick and quietly responded, "Yes?"

"Please... Forget about Elpizo. Can you do that at _least_ for one day?"

"O-of course I can! How many times must I tell you I'm not obsessed?"

And with that, Reve ran out of the throne room, leaving Ana very disturbed. "That man _is_ dangerously obsessed..." she groaned, "I don't care if he says otherwise. Perhaps I should lock him up for awhile..."

_Later..._

"I swear..." Sarisa started, as she and the other two watched an all-out brawl go on in some random bar, "Every day... It gets more...chaotic. And no one ever leaves, either... It's almost like there's a demon in there or something." Kai and Ogi both nodded in agreement. "Well, demon or not, this brawl has got to stop!" Kai cried, "Come on everyone... We can do this!" The three readied their weapons, let out battle cries, and ran into the bar...

...only to be kicked out five seconds later.

"THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!" Kai screamed, running back into the bar, and was promptly kicked out literally half a second later, and don't ask me how that's possible. The doors were also closed shut and locked. "...That's a new record." Ogi said bluntly.

"Be quiet, will ya?"

"I do not see how stating the obvious can possibly be annoying you."

"Well, it is."

"Hmph."

"Maybe we should take a different approach..." Sarisa spoke up, unaware Reve was watching the three carefully ( he didn't want to be seen by them; he would never hear the end of it). Reve was unable to hear what they were now whispering about, but decided it wasn't any of his business to know. The three suddenly ran off, and returned with a battering ram. "Whoever started this brawl, TODAY IS THE DAY THIS ENDS!" Kai shouted, and then he and his teammates proceeded to slam the battering ram against the doors. Reve had at this point run off from the area, unwilling to see how much disaster would result from this not-carefully-thought-out plan.

"How am I obsessed?" Reve shouted as he walked out of the town, coming across a tree with a wanted poster of Elpizo on it ( her ears were again drawn wrong), "That's simply ridiculous!" he promptly tore the poster off the tree "Honestly... Me? OBSESSED? There's no way I'm obsessed with catching her! If I were obsessed, I'd be thinking about catching her every single second, which I most certainly am not!" The crazed elf then glared at the poster, before letting out a scream and tearing it to shreds, then running off into the forest, yelling very loudly, "I WILL GET YOU ELPIZO!"

Elpizo, who was busy taking a nap in a nearby tree, opened her eyes at the scream, and a smirk crept upon her face. "So soon?" she inquired, stretching and then jumping out of the tree. Reve hadn't noticed her yet; he was busy screaming about how he was not obsessed with catching her or anything of that sort. She shook her head at him and casually leaned against the tree, waiting for him to finally notice her existence. He was far too obsessed to even realize she was going to trick him, most likely. But that made things more fun.

"One of these days I'll-AGH! IT'S YOU!" Reve suddenly screamed, finally noticing Elpizo, "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" Elpizo gasped in mock fear, then promptly ran off, Reve pursuing while screaming that she should hold still so he could catch her, which made her think that either she had finally made his intelligence drop completely, or he was really desperate to catch her. Nonetheless, she continued running, making it a mission to shove every single tree branch she could out of her way, so said branch would fly back and hit Reve in the face. He cried out in distress each time it happened, but otherwise seemed undaunted.

The chase went on for what seemed like an eternity, and Elpizo was shocked that Reve had lasted this long. She had hit him with tree branches, tricked him into running into caves inhabited by all sorts of nasty creatures, catapulted him across the forest with big tree branches, sent him flying into random lakes and rivers ( she even managed to pull off sending him falling down a small waterfall), and he was still pursuing her. He was quite clearly very focused, and probably even insane by this point. Which both entertained and frightened her. On one hand, she was enjoying the futile chase, but his determination was starting to make her worry. This chase needed to end, and fast.

Her solution? Run into some abandoned ruins a couple miles from where the chase had started, and hopefully lose Reve there.

These ruins were far from the castle, and hidden deep within the mountains. No one ever came to them, purely because they feared the ruins were housing an unspeakable evil, as the few who dared to come here spoke of whispering voices and a sealed door which somehow instilled fear in all who approached. Elpizo, however, didn't believe these ruins could possibly house anything other than dust and random animals, so she went into them anyway. As expected, Reve followed almost mindlessly, though she did notice he hesitated for a moment. Surely he didn't believe these ruins were anything but run-down ruins?

As Elpizo ran throughout the ruins in hopes of Reve getting himself lost ( he was too focused to remember which way went where), an odd chill went through her body, and an eerie silence seemed to be enveloping the ruins. She thought she heard voices in her head, but she shrugged them off and continued running. It was just her imagination. Nothing more.

It didn't take long for Elpizo to run into the largest building, Reve actually catching up to her. She ignored practically every single painting on the walls, which depicted plenty of unpleasant things, instead choosing to run as deep into the temple-like structure as possible. Reve followed closely, but did take the time to notice the paintings, looking disturbed.

"Oh dear..." Elpizo grimaced as she ran into a dead-end. Well, technically, there was a door at the end of the room, but it was shielded, and some kind of warning picture was painted on it. And she wasn't crazy enough to unlock the door and hide; that seemed unwise. So, she was more or less trapped, and that thought didn't exactly make her feel happy.

"I've got you now!" Elpizo heard Reve shout, and she turned to face him. "W-wait!" she pleaded, frantically trying to find a way to escape, "Can't we talk this over?"

"Silence!"

With that said, Reve promptly dashed towards Elpizo, somehow tripping over a strategically placed brick, and he went flying smack into the door, Elpizo watching this stupefied. "What just happened?" she inquired as Reve slid down the door, accidentally gripping the wheel-shaped locking mechanism, "Eh, whatever. Now's my chance, anyway." She promptly bolted from the area, Reve not noticing right away. When he was no longer dazed and finally noticed she had fled, he screamed in rage and scrambled to get back on his feet, using the locking mechanism to help himself stand up, thus causing the lock to become undone, and the door to slowly open. He ignored the fact that it was opening and ran out of the room in pursuit of Elpizo.

"GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!"

And with that, the two left the ruins, completely unaware of the monster slowly awakening.

Somewhere, in a place enveloped by shadows, a pair of piercing red eyes slowly opened, tearing through the darkness quite handily, as the silver Dragon took notice of the door to his prison being opened at long last. Hatred and malice filled him, and he growled deeply within his throat. "This world..." he said darkly, as he began to climb out of his prison, "...will suffer..."

Note: And cut! Likey or no likey? ...Am I the only one who thinks this kingdom's in for it? And Reve...LOOK WHAT YOU WENT AND DID! D: Anyways, just 'cause I wanna make this author's note longer than it is...

SUBJECT 1 ELPIZO: One of my PSZ characters who was based on a MegaMan Zero character ( who was actually a guy, but I went with a female character because I didn't wanna play as a guy). However, other than their name, hair colour, haughtiness, and apparent liking for pink, they aren't very similar. Come to think of it, their haughtiness is different... This Elpizo's more...'playful' about it... MMZ Elpizo wasn't. And she isn't really a thief; at least, in my other stories she isn't/won't be... When I started using this character in my stories, I was going to change her name, but in the end couldn't because Elpizo just felt right. Plus, girls in pink are more awesome than most people give 'em credit for. Age: 18.

SUBJECT 2 ZELDA: A tough girl who hates anything and everything. Except for dolls/stuffed animals. But please don't tell her I said that. Anyways, she's kind of an anti-hero in a lot of ways. She doesn't really care whether the world is saved or not by her actions; she just wants to clobber bad guys and then walk away with no thanks. Though I said she was inspired by Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda in my other fanfic _The Sky is Falling!_ she wasn't exactly. I thought the name sounded nice, and I'll admit, I felt it was befitting someone like this character over a princess who gets kidnapped a lot. No offense to Princess Zelda, but she needs to get a machine gun or something and scare the bad guys away. This Zelda would definitely do that. Actually, no she wouldn't. She'd get a bazooka instead. Age: 25.

SUBJECT 3 ECLIPSE: My friend's character which he used on PSO ( I have no idea if he used her on other games). For some reason, she always seemed like an epic character to me, and I tend to enjoy portraying her as a no-nonsense, witty character who knows exactly what she's doing and can pull it off with little trouble. You could throw all kinds of monsters and supposedly unbeatable odds in her face, and she'd respond with some kind of remark ( condescending, most likely), and plow right through whatever it was you threw at her. She also gets greatly annoyed by openly-haughty people who can't back up the splendor they shower themselves with, and crazy people ( like Zero, for example). Oh, and apparently, monsters are out to get her, as she gets attacked by them a lot. They never win. Age: I has no idea. D:

SUBJECT 4 HARPUIA: Another character of mine that was inspired by a MegaMan Zero character ( and that one was a guy, too. ._. I must be some kind of freak.). However, the name and armour colour is the only thing they share, as this Harpuia is much too calm and collected, taking great care in everything she does, regardless of its 'value'. She can joke around occasionally, but these moments are few and far between. She's a workaholic at their absolute worst most of the time, prone to random bursts of insanity if there's nothing for her to do. Thankfully, keeping Zero under control is more or less a tiring job, so she never is stuck with free time. It's seriously scary when she goes insane: She spray-paints un-smiley faces everywhere. But no one ever suspects her, because she's much too calm for that stuff. Further research is needed... Age: 17.

SUBJECT 5 ZERO: Yes...she was inspired by the MegaMan Zero series' namesake. So sue me. Unless you're Capcom, because then I really don't want to go to court. Actually, I don't want to go to court, period. Anyways, Zero is a destructive girl who will gladly tear down a skyscraper in ten seconds flat if you told her to. And she would leave absolutely no evidence a skyscraper existed. Nor would she tell you what happened to it. Further research on this subject is needed... Oh, and her real name is Lily, but don't tell her I said that, or I might disappear and- *is suddenly pulled into a shadowy area before I can finish my sentence* Age: 21.


	2. The First Strike, and a Mess of Lunacy

Note: Phantasy Star belongs to SEGA, okay? Elpizo, Zelda, Harpuia, and Zero belong to me. The Dragons and Eclipse belong to my friend. Oh, and I really didn't have a good reference for the Universe characters, so if I made any mistakes on their appearance, please tell me and I'll fix them PRONTO.

Chapter 2: The First Strike, and a Whole Mess of Lunacy.

"Ethan?" a black-haired, blue-eyed Newman inquired, trying to get the attention of the brown-haired Human sitting in front of her, "Hello? Is anybody in there?" Ethan responded with a groan, continuing to rest his head on the table. "...Leave me alone Karen..." he grumbled, wanting nothing more than to sleep and forget about his not-friend Hyuga's snow machine accident. He had spent the entire morning trying to figure out how in Bananaville his fellow Human managed to pull off getting stuck in the darn thing, and spent most of the afternoon trying to get him out. Now, he wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon and the evening doing something that didn't involve Hyuga or the snow machine from the underworld. Was that too much to ask?

_Thump._

Karen blinked in confusion as the ground shook for a moment, the liquid in her glass rippling slightly. Eventually, the shaking grew more intense, and a shadow was cast over the village, making everyone stop in their tracks. Karen looked upward and her eyes widened in absolute horror at the large silver Dragon that was looming over the village. He was bigger than any Dragon she had ever seen before, and his height was over half that of a skyscraper, if they existed in this world, that is. He lowered his head slightly, his red eyes scanning the area below him, and he narrowed his eyes and smiled.

"E-Ethan..." Karen said trembling, shaking him, "Wake up!" Ethan groaned and raised his head, opening his green eyes. "What is it?" he asked, then he noticed Karen was looking past him. Puzzled for a moment, he turned around and saw the Dragon. "...Oh great..." he breathed, swallowing hard, "Um... Nobody panic. That will just-"

Ethan never got to finish his sentence, as the white-haired freak Hyuga let out a scream of, "OH SWEET PINEAPPLES WE'RE GONNA DIE!" and ran around panicking.

"...Never mind..."

"What do you need me to do?" a blue-haired, green-eyed female Human asked, looking eager to help. Ethan looked at her with worry, not exactly wanting her, the most insane person in the village to do anything. "You get to be President of the Time-Out Corner!" he yelled, mentally kicking himself for making such an inappropriate comment, given the situation.

"Okay!"

The girl then ran off to the Time-Out Corner, happy that she could help, while everyone else either ran away or trembled. The Dragon seemed to smile wickedly at the display before it, as the people all stared at it in fear. They knew that this Dragon had every intention of killing them, and when all was said and done, they really didn't have an effective way to stop it. An intense cold overtook the village as the Dragon readied his Ice powers and lowered his head further.

"I'm going to enjoy this..."

An icy blast struck the village, and the villagers knew no more after that...

"Kai, maybe we should just give up..." Sarisa suggested, as they had done everything Humanly, Newmanly, and CASTly possible to get into the bar, but to no avail. "Look, it may seem hopeless," Kai replied, getting on a catapult labeled 'Peace Keeper Launcher 5000', "But I took a sworn oath to keep the peace of this town, and _nothing_ will stop me from doing my job!"

"B-but Kai, you might hurt yourself...!"

"I'm the sheriff. Of course I might hurt myself! Ogi, cut the rope!"

"This is a bad idea..." Ogi groaned, but he cut the rope anyway, the catapult launching Kai smack into the stone road. It wasn't supposed to do that; it was supposed to launch him through a window and into the bar. "Just a minor miscalculation..." Kai groaned in pain, "I'm okay!"

The catapult tipped, fell over, and flattened Kai.

"...Okay...not so much now..."

Sarisa and Ogi looked at each other, sighed, then went to work at lifting the catapult off of Kai, and subsequently, taking him back to the sheriff's office, which held many wonders, such as first aid kits, cells, and handcuffs. Quite clearly they had no intention of letting him leave his own office for awhile. They felt he needed a break from the bar.

_Meanwhile..._

Two peculiar machines with the letters 'S.H.R.E.D.D.E.R' painted on their bodies watched Reve chase Elpizo throughout the forest, screaming all sorts of things at her. "Oh look, here comes that obsessed Newman, chasing that thief again." one Shredder commented. "He is?" the other inquired, "I heard the queen ordered him to stop chasing her."

"Oh yeah, she did, didn't she? Should we knock him out?"

"Sure, but why just him? Let's knock out the thief too, for kicks."

"Works for me."

With that, the two mechs disappeared from sight, and approached the two elves, who were now facing each other. "C'mon Reve!" Elpizo taunted, "Don't you know when you're beat?" She then noticed a slight disturbance in the trees behind Reve, but was knocked out before she could so much as open her mouth. During Elpizo's taunt, Reve had noticed a disturbance in the trees behind Elpizo, but was thwacked real good on the head before he could say anything. Both of them fell to the ground, laying near each other, out-cold.

"Aww, now isn't that adorably _awkward_!" the first Shredder commented, pretending to squeal. "Indeed it is..." the other agreed, "We bad?"

"We bad."

With that, the two machines wandered off, to continue whatever task they had. All in all, they felt quite pleased with themselves. These locals sure were easy to torment.

_An hour or so later..._

Elpizo let out a groan, clutching her throbbing head. "What on Earth hit me...?" she whined, then she noticed Reve laying near her, his face locked in a painful grimace, probably from a headache or something. "Argh, my head..." he groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, noticing Elpizo, "GAH!" Elpizo watched in mild amusement as Reve nearly jumped into a tree to get away from her.

Ignoring him, Elpizo got up, brushed the dirt off of her clothes, and began walking away. This was tragically cut short, as a fierce battle cry was heard, and a Beast suddenly tackled her and sent them both tumbling down a hill. Reve watched this absolutely dumb struck, then realized someone else was trying to catch Elpizo, and promptly ran after them. Elpizo was his criminal to catch! No one else's!

And before you think the wrong thing, he was most definitely not obsessed.

Really.

"H-hey, watch it-" Elpizo tried to shout, but Zelda promptly stuffed a cloth in her mouth and tied the free parts of it around her head, keeping it there. "...Music, sweet music," Zelda grumbled as the elf was effectively quieted, "I can't stand it when people like you run your mouths all day..." she then handcuffed Elpizo and started marching off to the castle, "Bah. This was easier than I had hoped... I caught you already..."

"No you haven't..." Reve half-sang to himself while hiding in some bushes, well-aware Elpizo would pull off some logic-defying escape. Sure enough, Elpizo had a mischievous gleam in her eye, and a small purple Mag made itself visible near Reve, who chose to examine it, much to its annoyance. The little robot looked fairly new, and Reve could see a small 'note' signifying it was the property of Elpizo. Even more insane, he discovered that Elpizo was its first owner, and it was actually purchased and registered by her. Reve blinked and then stared at it long and hard. Elpizo had a Mag? LEGALLY? The world must be ending...

The Mag looked ticked off at Reve for looking at its owner's information and promptly bit him, then flew off after Elpizo and Zelda. It cautiously looked in Zelda's bag and pulled out a key for the handcuffs. Zelda stopped, having felt something moving through her bag, and turned around, the Mag having hid itself beforehand. "Dang imagination playing tricks on me..." she seethed, unaware that the Mag had unlocked the handcuffs, and Elpizo made her escape with it. Reve watched this and resisted the urge to laugh. Zelda's reaction when she found out was even more priceless.

"OKAY! I DON'T KNOW HOW IN BANANAVILLE YOU PULLED THAT ONE OFF, BUT I'M GOING TO TIE YOU UP WITH CHAINS, STICK YOU IN A SAFE, AND DUCT-TAPE IT CLOSED NEXT TIME I GET YOU! LET'S SEE YOU GET OUT OF THAT!"

Zelda then pulled out a huge saber and sliced a tree to pieces, making Reve pale considerably, as that tree just so happened to be right near where he was hiding. Thankfully, Zelda continued her tree-destroying rampage in the opposite direction. Clearly, the cat-like mutant was someone you did not want to anger, like ever.

Meanwhile, Elpizo was busy being her awesome self, running through the forest laughing her head off at Reve and Zelda. "Ha!" she cried, "No one can catch me!" Her Mag seemed to nod in agreement, resting on her shoulder. She grinned and put a small Sol Atomizer in front of it, and it chomped down on the medicine quite happily.

After a few minutes, Elpizo stopped running, and stared in awe at the sight before her. There were traps everywhere, enough to secure a small prison. Suddenly, a frown creased upon her lips. "Whoever laid these traps to catch me..." she started, "Are you serious? You couldn't be more obvious! This is ridiculous! You bring me no joy whatsoever! See if I ever play with you again!"

"Good..." Eclipse muttered, "She's actually buying it... Kinda sad to be honest. I was expecting her to be a lot more clever than this... Oh well. She is part of this loony kingdom, criminal or not after all." Harpuia looked at Eclipse and rolled her eyes, then looked at Elpizo in pity. "I don't know if I can watch this one..." she grimaced.

"What? Zero transforming into the terrifying monster from the depths of chaos that we all know she is?"

"...Yeah..."

"Whatever."

Elpizo continued to look at the traps in disdain as her Mag crawled into her bag, presumably to 'sleep', or recharge, as the case may be. She harrumphed and walked forward...

"TAKE THIS LOSER!"

Zero's battle cry scared the living daylights out of Elpizo, but before she could do anything, a flash of red came at her and she was hit with what appeared to be a bat or something, effectively knocked out for the second time that day. The two then disappeared in a cloud of dust, and when it blew away, Elpizo was quite seriously tied up, and her Mag was trapped in the bag, unable to do anything. Zero merely growled a little.

"Good girl Zero!" Harpuia complimented, handing Zero a cookie. Zero stared at the cookie long and hard, then quite savagely snatched it with her mouth and devoured it, licking her lips. "...And you're sure she's a Newman and not a really brain-dead Beast?" Eclipse commented, rolling her eyes at the display.

"I'm one-hundred-percent sure. She has a natural ability with Techniques like Newmans do...even if she's prone to eating the disks containing the moves rather than learning them."

"Hey now, the way everyone learns Techniques through those disks is quite mind-boggling. Obviously she wants to be more creative."

"Well... I have seen her use the Techniques from said disks after she eats them..."

"See? There you go. The mystery is solved, and peace shall reign over the earth for at least ten seconds. Maybe longer depending on the traffic."

The two androids then noticed Zero busy destroying all of the traps so they could march on without any trouble. Besides, they couldn't very well leave all the traps where they were. There was bound to be someone who would fall victim to them. Eventually, the area was clear, and the bounty hunters were on their merry way, Harpuia and Eclipse more or less dragging the still unconscious Elpizo with them, with Zero following while holding the bat, ready to strike anything that moved.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

The bounty hunters stopped in their tracks whereas Elpizo's eyes snapped open as Zelda jumped in front of them. "What do you think you're doing?" she roared, eyes on Elpizo. "We're carrying around a wanted criminal because it is terribly fascinating," Eclipse replied sourly, "What does it look like we're doing? We're taking this pain in the neck to the queen, where she will become all those royal folks' problem. And we're getting paid to do it, too."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm also after her. I was bored out of my mind, and the sheriff was offering a decent enough bounty for it to be worth my time."

"Bounty, eh? I'll bet the queen's offering way more than that moronic sheriff who can't even stop a brawl in a bar."

"...Am I supposed to care? Listen, I didn't hear about the queen hiring bounty hunters until _after_ I took up this job, so I started before you, and I caught the brat first. Therefore, she's _mine_!"

Elpizo tried to ignore the angry bounty hunters and random mercenary as best she could, when she got a strange gleam in the corner of her eye. She turned her head and saw a strange-looking robot moving through the trees not too far from them. It appeared to be hovering above the ground as it did so, and looked other-worldly to her. "Um..." Elpizo spoke up, only to be whammed upside the head by Zero and knocked out.

"So what if you caught her first?" Eclipse argued, "You weren't competent enough to keep her that way!" Zelda gritted her teeth and glared, but Eclipse seemed undaunted. "If you'll notice," she seethed, "A good chuck of the nearby trees are missing. Wanna know what happened?"

"...Some people needed wood and chopped them down?"

"_I'm_ what happened, fool! Do you wanna end up like those trees? If not, I suggest you hand over the thief!"

The machine stopped moving for a moment and looked at the locals for a moment. Elpizo woke up and noticed it again. "Guys, I really think-" she started, but was once more knocked out by Zero. The machine then continued on its way, choosing to continue on with its task, rather than watch the terribly exciting argument.

"You are the most not-terrifying mercenary I have ever met," Eclipse said bluntly, "Look, if you're that obsessed with getting something for your wasted time, come with us. We'll put in a semi-nice word for you when we get to the queen. Deal?" Zelda growled within her throat, but conceded. "...Deal..." she said, looking very perplexed, "...I'm Zelda, by the way..."

"Good to know. My name is Eclipse, and my 'partners' are Harpuia and Zero."

"Seriously, can you listen for just-" Elpizo spoke up, only to be knocked out by Zero again. "Zero, can you _please_ spare her brain cells?" Harpuia begged, "The last thing we need is for her to turn into another freak of nature." Zero looked disheartened, but obeyed anyway, throwing the bat carelessly off to the side. Which caused what sounded like a cat to scream in pain, but I digress. The mech had at this time disappeared from sight.

Now, this forest seemed to be seeing a lot of action during this day, as an oddly-shaped shadow was cast over the group.

"Hm?" Harpuia muttered, looking upward, seeing a white Dragon flying overhead. The winged reptile stopped and hovered, eyes on the group below it. It was probably the smallest 'adult' Dragon they had ever seen, and the look in its eyes was quite odd, intelligent, even. It was four-legged, and had a feminine, feline grace to it. After a few seconds of hovering, it flew down to the group and landed, turning to face them. Elpizo, who had woken up, looked absolutely horrified and whimpered.

"What do you want you stupid lizard?" Zelda snapped as she pulled out a Dagger, not really expecting an answer. The Dragon looked at the weapon warily and backed away, but glared at Zelda. "I just wanted to ask where a bloody town was!" it shouted angrily in a female's voice, "Is that a crime in this neighborhood?"

"...The monster can talk?"

"Of course I can talk! Do I look like some wild Dragon to you? And monster? Sheesh, some manners you have there!"

The Dragon then proceeded to flap her wings furiously, creating a strong gust of wind. "GAH!" she yelled, "First I lose sight of my brother, get lost in this larger than life forest, and now some random locals think I'm a wild Dragon? Can this quest get any worse?" The gusts of wind she was creating were quite powerful, and everyone found themselves struggling to keep from falling over. She seemed to be unaware of it all, focusing on how mad she was.

"You know what?" the cat-like Dragon snapped, "I'll just leave! See if I ever try talking to random locals again!" With that, she charged forward, leaped into the air and flapped her wings, flying away, leaving everyone trying to comprehend what just happened as they stood back up. Well, everyone but Elpizo stood back up; Elpizo chose to faint. Harpuia glared at Zero, but the look on her face basically said she did not touch the thief.

"I've never seen a Dragon like that before..." Eclipse commented, "It's actually quite refreshing to have an intelligent Dragon stop to ask for directions rather than have a monstrous one stop to eat whatever ends up in its sights, though." Harpuia looked at her for a moment. "Should we tell the queen about her?" she inquired.

"Nah... She seemed pretty harmless to me."

"She nearly ripped this part of the forest up with those gusts of wind..."

"And Zelda went on a rampage, but I don't see any sugar-high squirrels and chipmunks complaining about that. If Zelda can wreck the place and get away with it, so can that Dragon. If she turns out to be a horrible monster, then we can worry about her. But for now... I don't see any point."

The group then proceeded to get themselves together, when they heard someone walking through the bushes. Afterwards, that someone cried out in shock as they apparently tripped on something, and the person fell into the path, revealing himself to be Reve. "...You're that obsessed captain we saw at the castle..." Eclipse said with no remorse, "What the blazing pineapple are you doing out here?" Reve got up and dusted himself off, looking at her. "I'm just going for a walk through the forest!" he cried, "Surely there is no harm in that? I most certainly didn't come here to chase Elpizo or anything of that sort... Huh?"

"What?"

Eclipse then noticed Reve staring at Elpizo in shock, obviously amazed someone actually managed to catch her and keep her that way. Either that, or he was horrified someone beat him to it. "What?" Reve cried in horror, making Eclipse decide it was the latter, "This can't be happening! GAH!" With that, he proceeded to slam his head against a tree repeatedly. "You know..." Harpuia started as she stared at the pitiful man, "...I can't help but pity this guy. He needs a life. Badly."

_Somewhere else..._

Pain.

Darkness.

He wished his mind would decide whether to drift completely or just focus on the pain. Going back and forth between a dreamless sleep and excruciating pain with no relief was torturous. He felt like he should be dead, but for some reason he was still alive. But the thought of still being among the living did nothing to comfort him. He was trapped wherever he was. Though he tried, his eyes refused to open, despite him somehow screaming at them to function.

"...han...hear...wake..."

He could hear a voice, but it was too low for him to hear clearly. Even so, he strained his ears to hear it, and struggled to climb out of whatever pit he was in. As he did so, he could feel the pain intensifying, but he decided it was better than feeling almost dead and numb.

"Ethan!"

The light blinded him for a moment, but when his vision cleared, he saw a group of injured people looking at him in relief. "Yes!" Hyuga cried happily, "You're still with us!" Ethan ignored him and looked around what was left of the village, seeing nothing but destroyed buildings and melting ice. The ground also looked like it had been torn up like a flower bed, the concrete now in pieces. "...Where's everyone else...?" he asked. Everyone was silent.

"We don't know..." Karen finally answered, "We think they're dead...but we can't find them anywhere..." Ethan held his tongue for a long moment, clutching the wound on his side, which he had gained from a stray piece of broken wood. He looked towards the sea, vaguely seeing something traveling within it, but he ignored that. He was staring at the partially frozen water.

"What do we do now?" a red-haired, lime green-eyed CAST inquired, looking frightened. "Well that's easy!" the Human who had run to the Time-Out Corner cried enthusiastically, "We just...we... I don't know..." She looked teary-eyed, and started sobbing after awhile. Ethan took that as a sign that everything really was as horrible as he thought. When that girl could find no silver-lining, the situation was really hopeless.

"...We need to leave here and go to the castle," Ethan spoke up, "I doubt the queen has any means to face that monster, but we can't stay here, and this is something she needs to at least know of..." Everyone else only nodded, some looking skeptical. But they didn't have any better ideas.

With that, the group left the remnants of the small village. There was nothing there for them now.

Note: ...Yeah... Review, perhaps? To be honest, I'm not quite happy with how the last part turned out, but I felt it would be in bad taste to inject any of the humour into it... *starts falling asleep* Brain is fried...back in five minutes... *falls asleep*


	3. When are Things Ever Normal?

Note: How many times must I say I don't own Phantasy Star?

Chapter 3: When are Things Ever Normal?

"It would appear Zeckan is on the prowl..." a purple Dragon muttered, as he examined the ruins of the village, "He's striking quicker than I had initially thought..." A Shredder looked at him quizzically. "Should we search for any survivors?" the machine asked.

"No. This happened some time ago. If there were any survivors, they would've left by now. We should keep moving..."

"As you wish..."

With that, the Dragon and his machines left the village.

_Later..._

It was night-time in the castle town.

This was generally the time when weird stuff happened.

Including the worst: A sheriff having broken out of his own prison to attempt to get into that gosh darn bar again.

Kai's plan really seemed like a recipe for disaster: A ramp had been placed in front of a window leading into the bar, and Kai was off to the side with a bicycle, which was currently set in place as he pedaled like mad, 'revving up the engine', so to speak. When he was finished building up some kind of 'momentum', he would blast off and go up the ramp, and through the window. Since it was night-time, no one could see Kai in the dark alley he had chosen to hide out in.

Which was exactly why two CASTs were wondering what the pineapple a ramp was doing in front of a window.

"What's this doing here?" the black-armoured, green-eyed male inquired, "Someone could get hurt!" The icy blue-armoured, silver-eyed female nodded. "Yeah..." she agreed, "Should we move it?"

"I think so."

That having been said, the two androids picked up the ramp and carried it off -right as Kai went zooming off to go up the ramp. Since said ramp was no longer there, he went smack into the wall and knocked himself out. The two CASTs stood there dumb struck. "What's the sheriff doing on a bicycle at this hour?" the male muttered, "It's dangerous when it's this dark!" The female nodded, and the two were on their merry way, carrying the ramp to dump it, and carrying Kai to take him back to his office.

If you're wondering, they failed to make the connection with the ramp and Kai on a bicycle.

"What's wrong?" Sarisa asked sleepily, eyes on Ogi. "The cell is open..." Ogi explained, "...And no Kai..."

"Huh? You don't think he-"

"It shouldn't be hard to guess what his intentions are. Humans are quite persistent."

Afterwards, the two heard a knock on the door, and went to open it, finding Kai laying on the doorstep with a cracked helmet, and two CASTs were walking away from the area. "...At least they brought him back..." Sarisa sighed.

_Later..._

It was morning now, and the two CASTs were staring at a wanted poster of Elpizo ( you guessed it; her ears were drawn wrong), occasionally risking glances at a green-haired, blue-eyed male Newman in a blue robe, who was busy picking at...whatever it was he was eating. The look on his face suggested he wasn't sure what it was, and was afraid it would make him sick.

"Leviathan..." the male whispered, looking back at the poster, "Should we tell him? Really? Should we?" The female looked unsure. "We probably should, but..." she started, "I'm worried about how he'll take it... He looks up to her..."

A long sigh, "We've kept it from him long enough... It's about time he realized his older sister is out being a thieving brat and driving the captain of the Royal Guard to the edge of insanity, rather than being the awesome hero he perceives her to be."

"Quirky..."

"I don't want to sound mean here, but he's thirteen years old... He's old enough to handle this... Hopefully. Oh good gosh...he's gonna go insane and scream at us..."

Leviathan then placed her hand on her brother's shoulder. "If he does, we can handle it!" she said cheerily, "We handled telling him Santa Claus wasn't real, after all." Quirky smiled, then his partially masked face turned grim. "Yeah...and now he believes the Great Pumpkin travels around the world instead of Santa Claus..." he grimaced, looking very concerned.

"Come on Quirky. We can do this. We must! For...come on Quirk... What must we do this for?"

"...FOR EVERLASTING PEACE!"

With that, Quirky pretty much blew his mature act and pulled out a Double Saber, promptly slashing a good chunk out of the wall with a heroic battle cry. "Yeah!" Leviathan declared, seemingly oblivious to the wrecked wall as she broke her mature act and blasted a random flower pot with her Rifle, "We are the Dynamic Duo! Our bond is unbreakable! Together..." Quirky joined in as she finished her sentence, "...We are _invincible_!"

After the two performed their super-hero stances ( which were incredibly cheesy, by the way), they noticed the boy staring at them in horror. "Um...guys?" he managed, his eyes pretty much telling the two androids that he greatly feared what would happen if they always acted like that. The two blinked stupidly, then shoved their real selves down into their processors, knowing now was the time to be mature again, and not the wacky 'kids' they usually were.

"Waffle..." Leviathan said sweetly, as Quirky set the poster down in front of the boy, "There's something you need to know..." Waffle glanced at the poster, blinking. "I know this will be hard for you to take, but your beloved older sister is...is...A CRIMINAL WANTED BY THE QUEEN! OH THE INHUMANITY!" Quirky declared, breaking his mature act once more and panicking ( androids couldn't cry, so he chose the next best thing). Leviathan joined in as well, covering her eyes to hide her non-existent tears. Both were truly upset about the truth, and didn't seem to care about how un-CAST-like they were behaving. They wanted to put their emotion chips to good use, dang it!

Waffle looked teary-eyed at the revelation that his sister was a criminal, and looked at the poster, praying that it wasn't her. It just couldn't be... He examined the picture carefully, and his eyes widened in realization.

"This isn't Elpizo! Her ears don't look like THAT!"

Quirky and Leviathan stared at him, and crickets could be heard chirping.

_Somewhere else..._

"Water...lemonade... chocolate milkshake...mashed potatoes and gravy..." the blue-haired girl breathed, laying on the ground and reaching for unknown help. "I know I've said it before..." Karen started, staring at the Human, "But words cannot describe how much Dawn frightens me..." While everyone else was focused on Dawn being over-dramatic, Ethan and a blue-haired, red-eyed female CAST stared at a blonde-haired, red-eyed female Human, who was holding a small Rappy.

"Emilia..." the CAST inquired, "Where'd the Rappy come from? I do not wish to sound intruding..." Emilia shook her head. "You're not, Vivienne..." she replied, "It's just...I found this Rappy when we left the village. It looked so scared, like it was saying to me, 'Please Miss! Protect me from the big horrible Dragon that destroyed my home!' I couldn't turn down a request for help, could I?"

"Of course not..."

The Rappy chirped in delight and snuggled up against Emilia as she held it. Ethan's brown-haired, blue-eyed sister Lumia walked up to them, her eyes set on something in front of the group. Everyone turned their attention to what the white-clad girl was looking at, and saw a bunch of rocks blocking their way. "Oh great..." Ethan groaned, "Now what're we going to do?"

"Maybe we could move them out of the way..." Hyuga suggested. Everyone stared at the blue-clad man in annoyance; the stones were far too large for them to move them out of the way. Suddenly, the Rappy jumped out of Emilia's arms and swiped Ethan's gun, then blasted the rocks to pieces with a couple well-aimed shots. It then returned the gun and jumped back into Emilia's arms, quite pleased with itself. The red-haired CAST ( who was named Venus, by the way) screamed and jumped into a random tree, shaking uncontrollably. Everyone else was dumb-struck, then a dark blond-haired, blue-eyed male Beast named Tonnio effectively broke the silence:

"Dang. That's one epic Rappy."

It was hard to argue with logic as sound as that, so the group continued walking down that path.

_Meanwhile, at the castle..._

Elpizo was completely and totally silent as Ana seemed to stare into her very soul. She couldn't believe it; after all her successes in eluding arrest, three bounty hunters whom she had never heard of managed to capture her and take her to the queen. It was simply maddening! No one was supposed to catch her! No one! Yet, here she was now...and it didn't feel good at all.

"If you don't want to spend the rest of your life rotting in a cell, return what you stole!" Ana demanded, looking pretty angry at the thief. "But I did return what I stole!" Elpizo protested, "Didn't you get the sack?"

"You mean the one that exploded and destroyed the bridge, effectively cutting the castle off from the town?"

"...That bomb was still working?"

In case you're wondering, Elpizo stole an antique bomb and carelessly stuck it in that sack, accidentally turning it back on.

Everyone stared at Elpizo after her slight outburst. "I am so sorry for that one..." Elpizo said, genuinely looking ashamed, "I should've been more careful... But hey, on the plus side..." she then walked over to Harpuia, who was carrying her bag quickly pulled a book out of it, then handed it to Ana, "Here's your diary! It's all safe and sound! Though if I may comment, that one entry was-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence, as Ana screeched, "DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW IN THERE! FORGET EVERYTHING YOU READ OR I'LL FEED YOU TO A SEA SERPENT!"

"You can't do that!" Reve suddenly cried, "I won't have any criminal to chase!" he then noticed everyone staring at him, "...Um...I'm not obsessed, okay? Sea serpents are absolutely terrifying. No one deserves such a fate... I'm definitely not obsessed." Eclipse crossed her arms over her chest. "Keep telling yourself that," she said bluntly, "Perhaps one day that obsession within the depths of your heart of hearts will believe it and go away. Bah. It knows it's loved and cared for. It's not going anywhere."

"...You're a bitter woman..."

"Is that so? I'm really too busy to care at the moment what some random pointy-eared guy thinks, so would you kindly leave a note detailing your complaint on my desk? It'll be read thoroughly, then promptly thrown in the garbage bin, and I'll resume my existence as usual."

Reve said nothing else, and Eclipse relished the newfound silence. Actually, it wasn't silence, as everyone else was talking about something involving Elpizo, but she considered Reve keeping his mouth shut a welcome silence anyway. His pathetic attempts at proving he wasn't obsessed or anything of that sort made her ears cry out in agony. Looking at Zelda, she could tell the Beast felt the same way, though she looked very annoyed at everyone else's 'conversation'.

"I really don't feel like making this longer than it needs to be," Ana explained, "So, I'll just get to the moment everyone in this kingdom's been waiting for..." she glared at Elpizo, then looked at some nearby guards, "Not to sound generic here, but... To the dungeon with her! And don't let her escape!" The guards quickly grabbed Elpizo, and she screamed out, "Wait! Don't I get a trial?"

"In a day or so," Eclipse answered for the queen, "It takes oh-so-much time to set one up in such a busy schedule as the queen's, and where else are they gonna put you while you await the very biased workings of this court? Besides, every piece of evidence is against you. I really doubt you even need a trial with such an extensive crime record as yours." Ana glared at her for a moment, but decided not to say anything. The rather nonchalant android did deserve her gratitude, after all.

As the guards dragged Elpizo away, she managed to get a good look at Zero. "...Lily, is that you?" she inquired, and the crazed elf's head immediately turned to face her, the blue eyes it contained suddenly turned a shade of crimson as she narrowed them and gritted her teeth, growling like an animal. Within seconds, Zero had the guards out-cold, and was pinning Elpizo to the ground, growling and hissing furiously as she prepared to beat the daylights out of a fellow member of her species.

"Down Zero, down!" Harpuia cried, grabbing Zero by her hair and pulling her off the currently frightened Elpizo, "Bad girl! Bad! No cookie for you!" Zero seemed to consider the cookie a minor loss, as she proceeded to gnaw on Harpuia's arm to get her to let go. Reve and Ana were watching the whole scene as if to say 'What in heck is going on here?', Zelda thought the whole scene was hilarious (as evidenced by her hysterical laughter), whereas Eclipse just looked downright unamused.

After a few seconds of Heaven-knows-what, Zero calmed down and Harpuia looked at her sternly. "Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again." she warned, saying each word separately for emphasis. Zero rolled her eyes, but nodded to show she got the message. Everyone then turned their attention to Elpizo, whose eyes were huge. "...That's the...uh...Zero was it?" she muttered, and Zero nodded, "...That's the 'Zero' I know and fear..."

"Wait...you know Zero? How?"

"She's my cousin...but I had no idea she changed her name."

"COUSIN?"

"Yeah. Don't we look like cousins?"

Harpuia was unsure of what to say, whereas Zero was blinking stupidly. "Cousin...?" she muttered, the word quite unfamiliar to her. "Yes Zero," Elpizo said, "Remember at Grandma's birthday party? I slammed your face into that ginormous pumpkin!"

"That...was..._you_?"

"What? You never saw me, or you just don't remember me? Well that's-OH MY GOSH SOMEBODY GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!"

Everyone stared in awe as Zero trapped Elpizo in a ferocious hug, growling at everyone who stared at her funny. Harpuia suddenly looked very jealous. "Why can't she hug me?" she whined, "I'm only her caretaker..." Eclipse patted Harpuia on the shoulder. "Your time will come," she explained, "Zero and other people -myself included- can't possibly not notice your existence of boring forever."

"...Your words bring me such comfort..."

"Hey now, who gave you a license to be sarcastic? Obviously not the same bureau that gave me mine. Their standards were a lot higher. Keep trying, though. You might be good at this someday."

Harpuia gave Eclipse an 'If looks could deactivate' expression, but ignored her. She instead chose to focus on Zero hugging Elpizo like her life depended on it. After a few seconds, Zero let the prisoner go, looking at her rather happily. Then she whipped a bat out of nowhere and knocked Elpizo out-cold. "Thieves are horrid," Zero declared, "Bad cousin for being one." With that, she walked off, the happy expression swiftly replaced by her normal demented expression. Everyone else just stared at her. "...She must've been great at family reunions!" Eclipse suddenly declared, "Seriously. Hitting family members with bats left and right is totally a normal way of showing affection."

...That was more information than I wanted to know...

_Somewhere else..._

"Admit it Cyan!" a yellow, female Dragon cried, "We're lost!" This Dragon was a lot smaller than the white one that had appeared a day or so earlier, and looked almost child-like. She certainly sounded like a child, too. A light blue Dragon that was exactly the same size was standing next to her. "We are not lost Luna!" she snapped, "I know exactly where we are!"

"B-but we've never been here before... How can you know?"

"I just know these things, okay?"

"WE'RE LOST! LOST LOST LOST!"

With that, the yellow Dragon Luna started crying, covering her eyes with her paws. Cyan glared at her for awhile. "...I can't believe I'm related to you..." she whined, "It just isn't _fair_!" She then proceeded to bang her head against a nearby tree, looking like she wanted to cry from frustration. She certainly wasn't going to admit that she had absolutely no idea where they were. All she knew was that the blasted portal took them from their home, and where they ended up...definitely wasn't connected to home in the slightest.

"Hey!" Luna cried in her annoyingly girlish voice, "I see someone over there!" Cyan didn't get a chance to say anything as Luna ran to the unfortunate male Beast who was just passing through the lush forest ( 'course, neither of them knew what he was; to them, he looked like a Human who played dress-up way too much, with his animal ears and what-not). Cyan groaned and ran after her moronic sister, knowing she should keep her safe, just in case the unfamiliar creature wasn't friendly.

"Hey mister!" Luna cried, stopping right in front of the Beast, "Can you tell me where this is? Where's a nearby town? Are there any ferocious monsters out here? Why do you suddenly look so pale?" The Beast stood there for a brief moment, before running off at an incredible speed while screaming his head off, leaving Luna dumb struck as Cyan sat beside her.

"Why'd he run away?" Luna asked, looking very distressed. "Maybe it's because you didn't even bother to change to your Human form..." Cyan immediately replied.

"Oh..."

With that, Cyan promptly thwacked Luna on the head for being so dumb.

Note: ...Yeah... Likey or no likey? And, because I enjoy doing this...

SUBJECT 6 QUIRKY: A dude. Before I made up this guy, I only had female characters, and I felt I needed a male character, so he came to be. Since then, he has become, more or less, an earnest and clueless male protagonist. He means well, but his...eccentricities often get in the way of him being competent in some form. He loves to play music, and also enjoys cooking (though he does neither well). However, as strange as he may be, he's respectful and responsible...in his own way, as far as the latter goes. He's also a ginormous geek, if you couldn't tell by some of his dialogue. Age: Unknown.

SUBJECT 7 LEVIATHAN: ...I give up...yet another MegaMan Zero inspired character, though there really isn't much about them that's similar other than name ( yes, the MMZ Leviathan's armour was blue, but it was more of a water/ocean/sea blue, rather than icy). Leviathan pretty much fills the 'earnest and clueless female protagonist' mold, which complements her brother Quirky. Wherever Quirky fails, she succeeds, and vice versa. Leviathan is very friendly, and loves to be around people, though her hyper and playful personality can cause her to get in trouble. Regardless, she can be responsible when the need arises...she just does it...her way. Age: Unknown.

SUBJECT 8 WAFFLE: This poor guy was made from the leftovers of my creativity at the time. Meaning, I had little to no idea what I was doing. Nonetheless, he stays. Anyways, Waffle's basically the 'earnest and clueless younger sibling', and he has the mental capacity of a seven-year-old. Despite his childish reasoning and general not-brightness, he's a very sweet kid who will do anything he can to help the greater good. He dislikes fighting, and isn't very good at it either, but he's a good healer. He also buys waffles and hides them, believing they are his family. O.o Age: 13 (well...I already said this...).

SUBJECT 9 DAWN: Quite obviously, she's an insane person who belongs in an asylum. She was inspired by Dawn from Pokemon (name and bubbly personality more-so than anything else; though their hair colour is similar), Murdock from The A-Team (to those who've never seen this awesome show, Murdock was an insane guy; very much so), and Bugs Bunny from Looney Tunes (she's a mistress of disguise, more or less). Dawn is certifiably insane, but means well. She'll do anything and everything she possibly can to be helpful, though her antics generally end in some kind of disaster. So, the best way for her to help is to not help at all. Age: 19, but no one can confirm nor deny this...not even her.

SUBJECT 10 VENUS: A parody of my MegaMan X fan character Venus ( who, BTW, isn't a coward). Those who have her 'help' get exactly what they see: A CAST who is terrified of anything and everything. However, she is pretty good with guns and can hold her own in combat...when she decides to be brave. These moments don't happen often. No one knows exactly why she's terrified of everything, but I don't really think there's any logical answer for this, anyway. Age: 12.


	4. More Pieces to this NonExistent Puzzle

Note: ...Seriously sue-happy lawyers, I don't own Phantasy Star!

Chapter 4: More Pieces to This Non-Existent Puzzle.

"...This doesn't look good..." a man in silver armour commented as he examined the paintings which depicted a silver Dragon laying waste to the inhabitants of this world, and what appeared to be his own. He could not read the language of the markings, but he could guess from the paintings that these ruins linked his world to this one, and that the door was what kept the evil Dragon at bay. Which meant, if these paintings were to be believed, the door was open and the Dragon was free. And he most certainly believed the paintings. He had seen his share of strange things in his life-time.

The man was torn from his thoughts when he heard a shrill scream, and then the sound of something slamming into one of the buildings. His left eye twitched as he recognized the voice, and his body suddenly morphed from a Human form to his true form, which happened to be a silver Dragon. He shook his head and ran out of the building, seeing the white Dragon laying on the ground near the building she had slammed into.

"Viranol!"

"Gwah...?" the white Dragon muttered, very dazed as the silver one ran to to her. Once she regained her focus, it didn't take her long to recognize him. "Um...hi Aithodith!" she cried, feeling like someone had shoved a brick down her throat and it somehow made it to her stomach. "Viranol, what are you doing here?" Aithodith cried, "I thought I told you to stay at home where it's safer!"

"And I thought I explained to you that I'm old enough to take care of myself!"

"...Why must you do this to me time and time again?"

"I already told you! I'm not a baby! If I want to go on some quest, I can do it!"

"...Fine... I know I can't win."

Viranol harrumphed in response and sat down on her hind-legs, crossing her front legs over her chest and looking at him skeptically. She then glanced at the paintings. "Oh, now that's certainly lovely," she said, voice laced with sarcasm as she examined one picture depicting the silver Dragon tearing a tiny army of this world apart, "That's our enemy?" Aithodith nodded and replied, "It appears so..."

"Eh...how hard could it possibly be?"

"I'm not sure that's the safest thing to say..."

"...What happened to your usual cheer, huh?"

"I really don't think this is the place to be cheery in."

"Oh fine... Be that way..."

With that, Viranol just walked off, leaving her brother a little dumb struck.

_Meanwhile, at the town..._

Okay folks, I'm sure you're expecting Kai to fail miserably again.

Well, here's your final dose of epic fail from Kai.

And if you thought his ideas couldn't get any dumber, well, you were wrong.

There was all manner of explosives placed around the door to the bar. So much in fact, that one would think Kai wanted blow the bar itself up. However, that wasn't on his agenda at all. He had come to the conclusion that the door was very strong, and figured a lot of explosives would be needed.

And if you're wondering about Ogi and Sarisa...

"A little harder...!" Sarisa breathed, as she and Ogi were hard at work trying to bend the cell bars so at least one of them could get out and get Kai back with that nifty stun weapon they had. "Urgh..." Ogi groaned as he put all his power into the task, "Humans have to be so overly persistent on silly matters like this, don't they?"

"But it's a brawl in a bar that hasn't ended."

"Of course, but after all these failed attempts at getting inside..."

"...This will be the end of Kai, won't it?"

"Hopefully it won't."

"...Hey...what's this?"

Sarisa suddenly left the bars alone and picked up a piece of paper haphazardly thrown off to the side, examining it. It depicted the door to the bar with dozens of explosives strategically placed around it, with a rather sloppy drawing of some random Human (she assumed that it was Kai) holding the remote to set them off and blow away the door. Ogi decided to look at it as well. "Oh?" he inquired, getting a good look at it, "Crazy as it may seem, that's actually his best plan yet. By placing explosives in certain areas, he has a good chance of blowing the door up without causing any-"

KABOOM!

"...Never mind..."

The explosions shook the entire town, and for whatever reason, a mushroom cloud appeared.

"Hey look!" a man whom PSO players know as Flowen cried excitedly, "A mushroom cloud! Think we should investigate it?" A girl named Rico blinked for a moment, insanity briefly flickering within her eyes, but it was quickly masked. "Well, maybe..." she said, almost deviously.

"No!" a man named Tyrell yelled, grabbing Rico's arm and pulling her away from Flowen, "We came here to camp, and that is exactly what are we going to do! We are not doing anything even remotely dangerous, understand?" Flowen looked at him and crossed his arms in disappointment. "How boring!" he declared plainly, before pulling a ginormous sword out of nowhere and slashing a tree, causing it to fall and brain some random Delsaber that was nearby, "Huh? How'd that get here?"

After staring at the unconscious Delsaber for a long while, the group noticed it began to stir. It promptly got the tree off itself, then looked at the three with what they assumed was hunger. The creature then clutched its head in pain, and ran off whimpering, and in tears. "Um...wow." Rico said plainly. "That's it, we're finding another campsite!" Tyrell shouted. "B-but we just got here!" Flowen cried, looking shocked, to say the least. No one seemed to notice Rico waving at the Delsaber while cackling madly to herself.

However, these guys aren't crucial to our story, so I'll go somewhere else.

"I'm getting soooooo tired..." Emilia whined, her knees wobbling to emphasize that fact, "Are we even close to the castle...?" Everyone ignored her as best they could. The Rappy seemed mildly annoyed as well. "No," Ethan said in an irritable voice, "We're at least a thousand more miles away."

"But...I can't walk anymore!"

"Not my problem."

"Wait." Vivienne said firmly, as the sound of machinery moving could be heard. The group then saw a bunch of mechs and a purple Dragon walking through the forest. Everyone in the group seemed quite afraid that the Dragon and the mechs might be hostile (and after the big Dragon, who could blame them?), so they ducked behind trees and bushes, being as silent as they possibly-

"ACHOO!"

Never mind.

The Dragon turned his head and looked directly at the group, causing them all to tremble. "Oh look," he said in an uninterested tone, "Scared locals." With that, he was on his merry way. "Hey!" one of the mechs, a small one, exclaimed as it stopped completely, causing the others some mild distress. "What?" another mech practically snarled.

"Look! They have Androids with them!"

"So...?"

"They're machines just like us!"

"Both of you!" a larger mech roared, "Move or I'll turn you into scrap metal!" The second mech wordlessly obeyed, whereas the first opted to shout, "Yikes!" and move as far away from the larger one as possible. The Dragon simply ignored them, but he did sigh. Soon, the group disappeared into the forest, and everyone opted to glare at Dawn, who was the one who sneezed in the first place.

"What?" Dawn protested, looking shocked, "I'm allergic to silence! My doctor told me so!" Ethan opened his mouth to say something, but Lumia cut him off. "I wouldn't bother," she stated plainly, "This is Dawn we're talking about. Anything and everything you could say will just bounce off her skull..."

"Hey! Nothing bounces off of my skull except soccer balls! And I can prove it!"

With that, Dawn kicked a soccer ball that was there for whatever reason, and it promptly slammed into a tree, bounced back and brained her on the head, effectively bouncing off her head and knocking her out. "D-Dawn, NO!" Venus panicked, "How could you do this? Don't die on me now! PLEASE!"

To say everyone else's expressions were dead-pan would be the understatement of the century.

"Look...we're close to the castle now," Ethan said after a lengthy silence, "Let's...oh no..." his gaze fell upon a large, silvery shape in the horizon that was headed in the same direction as them, "That's the...we can't waste time..." Without hesitation, he ran in the direction of the castle as fast as he possibly could, everyone else realizing what was going on and following. Venus caught on and tried frantically to wake Dawn up.

"Dawn!" Venus cried, "Wake up! We have to get the castle! The people there are in danger. We're all gonna die!" With that, Dawn sprang to life (never underestimate the regenerative powers of an insane person). She saw the Dragon and literally growled. "So that monster's coming for the castle town, eh?" she inquired, "We can't let him do that, Star Fox! We must warn the people, and take down this beast before it is to late!" Dawn then grabbed Venus and ran.

Wait...

Star Fox?

...

I won't even bother...

Note: ...Yeah...


End file.
